10 Ways Not to Take Things So Personally
It can be really hard not to take things personally, but we are all going through a challenging time right now, and there’s never been a better time to cut yourself and others some slack.
Here are 10 ways not to take things so personally:
Pause before responding. When under pressure it’s really easy to get reactive. Taking a moment to pause before responding to people gives you time to make sure you’re bringing your best to communications.
Observe triggers. We all have emotional triggers, and now is a particularly good time to observe what upsets you the most and throws you off balance. You might consider tracing the triggers’ origin in your life by journaling your feelings. Many counselors are currently offering virtual sessions, should you need additional assistance.
Take cleansing breaths. Breath is your friend, especially when frustrations creep in. Take advantage of this free, easy tool. A few deep breaths quickly ease mounting stress, while keeping you from saying or doing things you’ll regret. The next time you feel intensity mounting, stop and take three slow deep breaths. Making the exhalation a little longer than the inhalation soothes your nervous system.
Clarify before making presumptions. If a communication feels wrong or overly upsetting, try to clarify to ensure you’re understand the other person. It never hurts to check in and make sure you’re both on the same page. Listen carefully and make sure you are interpreting the communication correctly.
Don’t dwell. We all know that stress does not lead to the best, kindest, or most receptive versions of ourselves. Replaying your own and others’ behavior will not lead you to any positive places. Resist the need to rework, and just let things go. Shrug it off, and keep your focus on better things.
It’s not about you. It might be humbling to realize this, but most people are focused on their own lives, and they’re not even thinking about you. We can often get tripped up in our heads with concerns about why someone responded a certain way. Resist the temptation to let your mind run in unnecessary circles, and rest in the knowledge that whatever is up for other people probably has nothing to do with you.
Be as compassionate as possible. We all deserve love and compassion. Give it to yourself first and foremost, acting as though you were caring for your best friend. The more self-compassion you can give yourself, the more you’ll expand your capacity to give it to others.
Honor your own boundaries. This is an important time to honor your energy levels, and that may require saying no to things. That’s okay. Love yourself enough to protect yourself by having clear boundaries, knowing your limits, and allowing space and time for yourself.
Let people be a little selfish right now. We are all, as humans, wired with a survival instinct. With the increased stress and anxiety people are feeling during these unsure times, it is understandable that this basic need to care for oneself is making its way to the foreground. We legitimately do need to care-give ourselves more right now, and that can appear selfish, and that’s okay.
Make time for yourself. Never underestimate the importance of taking some solo time. Maximize that time by truly giving yourself your own attention. What is your soul craving? More play? Rest? Pleasure? Listen in and fulfill your inner longings.