Why I Turned to Cannabis for Managing Chronic Pain

“You should really try cannabis,” my rideshare driver repeated. I nodded silently and stared out the window at two teens trying to make their way down Venice Boulevard while staying dry under one umbrella. The rainy weather had been making my body ache for days, and I could no longer hide the toll arthritis was taking on me - from myself, or the world. This was far from the first time a rideshare driver, or any stranger for that matter, had offered their unsolicited medical advice. I felt like everyone was asking why I wasn’t using marijuana products to help my body, and I was finally desperate enough to listen.

If you know my hippie roots, you might question how I hadn’t turned to the plant sooner. Or rather, returned to it, as cannabis had been intertwined with my life since I was a small child growing up in an herb shop in Amsterdam. But in my early twenties I had turned my back on anything holistic or “woo woo”, including herbal remedies, opting for what society had taught me was “real” science: conventional medicine. 

I was once considered by the medical community to be a pharmaceutical success story. Pain specialists gathered to interview and study me. 

“Look at her, all that damage to her spine, all the diagnoses, an alphabet soup of acronyms (FMS, CMF, CPS, TMJ, RA, etc.), yet here she is FUNCTIONING.” 

As long as I could keep going, it didn’t matter that I was taking enough narcotics each morning to take down a lion. I could almost live my life like a normal person. However, not long after being the guest at a pain specialist panel, discussing how successfully I was managing my pain with the dozens of prescriptions upon which I depended daily, I hit my bottom. 

“You’re losing your hearing in your right ear,” the doctor told me. “It’s a known side effect of all the medications you’re on,” he continued matter of factly. 

I had known for years that I couldn’t continue down this path. I had been increasing doses and adding prescriptions for so many years, I was now taking prescriptions for the side effects of the other prescriptions. I took muscle relaxants, anti-spasmodics, long-acting narcotics, shorter acting narcotics for the “breakthrough pain”, and pills for sleep and nausea by the handful all day long. I injected biologics into my thighs and stomach, and burned holes in my stomach with medications that were supposed to add density to my disintegrating bones. Eventually I couldn’t keep food down, and I knew that if I wanted to survive, I was going to have to find a new way to manage my chronic pain.

I have suffered with chronic pain for most of my adult life. A series of car accidents. Years of dance, gymnastics and playing hard in my body. Before I could legally drink alcohol I was dependent upon codeine pills prescribed by a top specialist at a well-respected university pain management program. Like most humans, my body needed more and more opioids to manage my pain. 

If you or someone you love has been through chronic pain or illness you are probably familiar with the series of roads journeyed, seeking treatments in all corners, ever hopeful for a miracle cure. Desperation grows with each new disappointment. Humiliation takes hold as voices proclaim it’s in your head or you’re making it up, because once opioids have been chosen you will be seen as drug seeking. It adds a layer of shame and pain that can be too heavy to bear. Depression is understandably linked to chronic pain and the burden of living with debilitating health issues. 

I am grateful I was able to get myself off prescription medication nearly two decades ago. I feel lucky to have survived that chapter. The idea of potential dependency contributed to my struggle to try cannabis. I didn’t want to become dependent upon anything, nor did I want to feel “high”. But, pain can be immensely hard on the body, and I needed help. Enter cannabis. The form I would try arrived in the most unexpected way. More on that in my next post.

Have you been using cannabis products to help manage your chronic pain, or other medical conditions? I have opened comments and welcome hearing your experiences.